I Birthed a Baby (Pine)apple

This is going to be a long one. Hold on tight. *I just finished this... and holy crap, it's long. sorry*

Sunday: 8 am appointment to get a Cook's catheter "installed".

"Cervical Ripening Balloon catheter, a device designed to accelerate cervical dilation prior to the induction of labor."

This wasn't very fun. Once in place, those bubbles get filled with liquid and it was all generally not a fun thing.

The midwife ran a stress test after it was in to make sure baby was still happy. While laying there, she gave us instructions for the rest of the day and some pills I could take if the pain was too bad.

Immediately, and for the rest of the day mostly, I had contractions 3 minutes apart. They lasted extremely varying amounts of time and also varied greatly in intensity. 

Within an hour or so of being home, the contractions got so bad that my whole body was shaking and the pain was terrible. I took the pain medicine and the contractions calmed down. Mike and Lauren facetimed us for a while and told stories to distract me from my mild, but still painful, contractions. I was also supposed to be doing another 24 urine catch at this time but it was rather half-hearted. That little "tail" made the difficult female pee catch into an impossible feat. Pee catches were made by and for men. Plain and simple. 

Deidre got in at 11pm. Kaio left around 10:30 to go get her and left me to (hopefully) sleep. After he had been gone for more than two hours, I started to freak out. How could I possibly have a baby the next day if my husband and mom died in a car crash the night before??? It would be impossible!!! Good thing this was all in my mind. Deidre's flight was late coming in, that's all.

Monday! It's the day! I made a playlist for the labor and delivery which will come up later.. but there were two songs at the beginning meant to set the stage on our drive to the birth center. 1. "I know it's today" from Shrek the Musical. 2. "Green lights" by Aloe Blacc.
Our 8am jam sesh was garnished with a trip to Chikfila breakfast. We rolled into the birth center around 9 ... only an hour late (I was not overly enthused about the impending cervical checks because I, myself, am a baby).

Good job Cook's catheter! From 0.5ish to 3cm. After my morning check, they gave me cytotec to get me more soft and squishy. I took the pill orally, did a non-stress test, and then they kinda kicked us out of the birth center. (Not what I was expecting)

We walked around a mall and got lunch. Still having contractions 2 minutes apart but really nothing to talk about. 

Around 1pm, we went back to the birth center in hopes of some progress. It was really busy and the only midwife whom I hadn't had an appointment with yet was available to check me. Deidre described it by saying it looked like she was screwing in a lightbulb. And this lady had long fake nails. So, ...yeah. It wasn't fun. 

3cm.

All that walking and lightbulb business for nothing.

Another dose of cytotec (not orally this time) and another non-stress test. The contractions were really starting to hurt (I thought) and they were getting to be pretty consistent. We watched My Name is Earl on my mom's ipad while I bounced on a birthing ball and ate wheat thins and gummy bears. Around 5 (or 6?), Rachel (the midwife on call for this day/night) told us to go get dinner and we would see what was going on/make a plan when we got back. We walked to a hamburger place about a block away. It took half of forever to get there because I had to stop every time I had a contraction. Once inside, I sat down while Kaio and Deidre ordered our food. Although mine looked delicious, I had gotten to the point where the idea of ingesting anything made me nauseated. 

Pretty soon we were back at the birth center and another cervical check showed that I was only 3.5cm. This was already pretty disheartening and then Rachel came in and said we could break your water or you could go home and we could try again tomorrow. All I heard out of that was "we can START OVER tomorrow". 

BUT I DON'T WANT TO START OVER. TODAY WAS ALREADY HARD. I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN. NoooooooOOOOoooooOOOoooooooooooo. 

Yeah that was my inner monologue. My outer dialogue was just crying. The crying spiked my blood pressure and really threw a wrench in sane decision making. 

Here is where I am especially grateful that Deidre (and Kaio) were around. Deidre asked Rachel for some time to talk it over in order to decide what to do. We prayed together for direction and then went to walk around the park just next door to talk it out. After weighing the options, we all felt pretty strongly that breaking the water was the way to go. Since we were evicting this little baby, I was pretty certain my water wasn't going to break spontaneously.

So here we go.

Actually for real this time.

STAGE ONE 

About 8:20 pm, I lie on the bed and Rachel breaks my water. Huge gush of (super hot, ew) water comes out, slams (this isn't a feeling, it's just what happened) the baby onto my cervix and then I truly know the feeling of a contraction. Kaio noticed the change immediately and was so excited. "There we go!!" ...I was not as excited.







I got in the shower ASAP and every body got down to business. Someone started my labor playlist but from the shower, it sounded wrong...

 "Kaio, take it off of shuffle and start it on the third song."

I made it in a certain order with progressing seriousness, as I imagined my laboring would go. 

I think I got out of the shower around "Isn't She Lovely" and made it to the birthing ball for "What a Wonderful World"

I bounced on the ball as a contraction came on and thought of the baby bouncing on my cervix like a little trampoline. 

I was mildly aware of what else was going on. My blood pressure was being monitored pretty regularly. Kaio made a joke about when would it be his turn on the ball (his last joke of the night when he couldn't get any reaction out of me).

Deidre told me to make hee-hee-whoo noises but I was in the middle of a contraction and her voice was so distracting. I maaaaaybe yelled at her. Although my eyes were closed, I could just feel the looks that were being exchanged. Like, whoa, haha, things are getting serious. 
I remained on the ball for part of my "wave" portion of the playlist but Rachel checked me and found me at a measly 3.5-4 cm still. 

"Go walk around." 

I think she meant outside but I didn't have pants on and so that just wasn't gonna happen. We walked around the room for the "lullaby" portion of the playlist, stopping every half round for me to cling onto Kaio, attempting to relax through the contractions. 

I couldn't walk anymore. I felt nauseated. I could feel one of my feet on the soft squishy rug and one on the cold hardwood floor. 

I ripped off the blood pressure cuff when a contraction came on before it was done getting a reading. It seemed like the readings were more often?? 

I clung to Kaio during the slow dance section of the playlist. I began to shake violently. I kept thinking, one more.. one more contraction and I'll ask for the pain medicine. But by Penelope's Theme my blood pressure was through the roof. 

My usual blood pressure is about 110/70. The reading at this point in my labor was 165/110. Rachel took it twice in a row to be sure.

Blood Pressure Category	Systolic mm Hg (upper #)		Diastolic mm Hg (lower #)
Normal	less than 120	and	less than 80
Prehypertension	120 – 139	or	80 – 89
High Blood Pressure (Hypertension) Stage 1	140 – 159	or	90 – 99
High Blood Pressure (Hypertension) Stage 2	160 or higher	or	100 or higher
Hypertensive Crisis (Emergency care needed)	Higher than 180	or	Higher than 110

...I didn't realize it at the time but Deidre and Rachel sure did. Something had to be done now. Deidre's "something" in mind thought that it would have to be an emergency transfer and c-section. Luckily, Rachel's "something" was different.

Rachel explains how she will assist me during a contraction. I'm supposed to go in a deep squat holding the bedpost while she pushes against my cervix, hopefully speeding up the dilation (still at 4cm). On the first try, the pain of the contraction makes squatting seem impossible. I immediately run away. 

Rachel: "Come back momma"

As we wait for the next contraction, a storm ensues. ...But it's just track 30 - Rain for sleep and relaxation.

I don't remember anything about the assisted contraction. I do remember after, I jumped right up with a huge surge of energy. Rachel said my cervix just dissolved under the pressure and I was fully dilated. We had planned to do two assisted contractions but the first was so effective that the next one wasn't necessary. 

My next contraction started, drum rollllllll

STAGE TWO

I immediately felt the sense of bearing down. I ran to go potty real quick. "No pushing on the toilet!" And it was a rush to get everything ready for me to push. The birth assistant wasn't there yet so I had to lay on the bed and try to not push while we waited for her. My MoTab started and a calm came over the room. 

This part is especially blurry. Mostly because I don't think I opened my eyes for this whole part...

The assistant came, I started pushing. Deidre was holding my hand and head. Kaio, a foot and leg. In between contractions, everyone was comforting me. They used olive oil when I started crowning. I kept thinking that this is the dumbest thing that anyone has ever done. Why do people do this? It's awful. I'm never getting pregnant again. And why do people do unmedicated birth?!? DOUBLE DUMB. 

In between contractions, I was so tired I nearly fell asleep every time. While I was pushing, I thought I just couldn't do another one. They asked me to push harder... I didn't have anything left. Push harder. So I screamed. Did that help? Cuz that's all I got. After 15 minutes of pushing, she was almost out. They told me to not push as hard (okay, happily) so that I could stretch instead of tear. Pretty soon, Kaio was in place to catch her and she popped out! 

11:03pm Baby Stella was born and plopped on my tummy. "What time is it?" "She is really a girl!" "It's over" "Sorry for yelling at you, Deidre" I was shaking soooo much. The kind of shake that happens after a seriously hard workout. Kaio cut the cord and helped the birth assistant clean up the baby. 

Stage Three

"Push when you feel like it." And out the placenta came. Easy peasy. 

Kaio weighed the baby. 4 lb 14 oz.

Kaio said, it's like you gave birth to an apple! (because she was so tiny)

I said it felt like a pineapple.

I took a shower. Ate some food. Put on clothes and went potty. Everybody talks about how terrible the poo after will be. Nope. It was fine and quick and easy. Thank goodness!

My blood pressure went down immediately once the placenta was out. Bad placenta!

Baby's first few hours:


She came out screaming hard! Proving to us that she had a great set of working lungs. She scored 9 on all of her APGARs. She latched on with her first try and started sucking like she hadn't eaten for weeks (wonder why!).

We cuddled and loved on her.

People talk about feeling this rush of love for their babies once they are born. What I felt was so different. I felt so much love for her but in a returning sort of way. Like I've loved her forever. She's always been in my heart. It's the same way I felt when I met Kaio. I've loved them forever and will love them forever more.